Let’s first start this one off by saying this……
“Stop thinking you are always right”
“Start speaking to your spouse as you would Jesus”
“Love your spouse more than yourself’
”You are not in competition with your spouse”
Why? Because it’s not about you but Jesus, and He is whom we choose to represent at all times………that’s why……
Is Winning, for you getting the last word and making sure you got your point across, or getting your way? Well if it is you have another thing coming, because that’s not winning at all.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. (Philippians 2:3)
Your spouse is not your competitor, competition, or dispute referee…..In other words, stop trying to win to make yourself feel better…Try winning God’s way by allowing Him to work through you and speak through you when there are disputes……God has a way of teaching the both of you, in such a way that is so loving and that it’s first not a competition amongst one another. And, second that you need to listen to one another instead of always wanting to be heard….God’s Word says in(Philippians 2:3)
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves”.
(And In)
(Mark 9:35)
Jesus said,” If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all”
If you want your marriage to be peaceful, loving and all around healthy, you first need to understand that marriage and holy matrimony is God’s idea…… .God was the One who created it as a sacred covenant between male and female, husband and wife 2 sacred souls….. And, with knowing that responsibility, it’s to reflect His image on earth and to advance His kingdom……
Truth be told, If you are married, there is going to be trouble. There is going to be disagreements, there is going to be disappointments, and there will definitely be hurt feelings. No, not for the sake of being mean or walking out of love towards your spouse, it’s just when two people live so jointly together, and are so intimately tied, conflicts, misunderstandings,disagreements, and/ or disputes are bound to push their way through…… .
What you need to understand is that marriage is not an “all about me” union, ‘oh no’….its a joint union where two people are involved. It’s A No Selfishness, it’s Not All About Me Zone….
You most definitely can never relate your marriage to a social or carnal platform especially if you view your marriage as a holy matrimony unto God, because not everybody does…..
For you to gain biblical understanding about your marriage will always put your eyes back on God, if they have been taking off,
Marriage is a kingdom concept, something God came up with, not the world or man. He saw this thing from the end to the beginning (Isaiah 46:10) I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.
Proverbs 18:22
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
Proverbs 19:14
House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:39
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
Genesis 2:20-24
The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Serious question? Did you think God didn’t know your marriage would go through ups and downs, and that decisions would have to be made, that you wouldn’t always agree with?…….of course He did.
Don’t you know that conflicts are supposed to make your sense of marriage stronger because it allows you to get a glimpse of how your spouse thinks, and it teaches you how to approach a dispute differently next time. Ohh, yeah! He also shows you in that instance, where you fall short and, that you need to work on yourself as well.
God has His ways of helping us look, listen, and be more attentive towards one another after a spat, if we could for just one moment take our eyes off of the other person and place them on Him during it would be a different outcome… You do realize that it’s only because of God you apologize and see your wrong in the situation “RIGHT”…..
If you want to make your marriage the focus of everything around you just remember that God is present everywhere you are and in every room you enter. So, just know that what you two speak about God is right there with you…So, just be aware of how you speak to one another and at what tone because
God is in the room.
Just be mindful of the scriptures in His Word pertaining to how to treat each other which should take on a whole new importance because He said so………the scripture like (Ephesians 5:21-29) Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:……and (Ephesians 5:1) He tells us to follow Him as His dear children”, those scriptures above should matter even the more to you.
And!! let’s not forget about what God tells the husband in (Colossians 3:19),
“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them” remember that God is watching the say you speak to her — on the phone, in person, in front of others, and behind closed doors……Yes, God is in the room….
Please be mindful of this as well,
(Psalm 141:3):
keep a guard over your mouth….
Just because something enters your mind doesn’t mean you have to speak it out of your mouth. When you guard your mouth, you are actually keeping the peace in your marriage…. Look at it this way……
: So what!! his tie doesn’t match
: So what!! his pants are slightly high
: So what!! she’s putting on weight
; So what!! her perfume is not hitting you the right way…….WHO CARES! All I care about is peace……because, if truth be told, the fastest way to win in a dispute is by letting your tongue loose in a fight, because once those words leave those lips, you can not take them back and your spouse will remember those words whenever they are feeling low and insecure about themselves……..Keep this in mind….. (Proverbs 15:28)
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
God knew that on our own we couldn’t love the way He calls us to love. Because if we did there would never be an argument and there would never be anyone asking for forgiveness….. But!!! In return He does expect us, and wants us to come to Him, depend on Him and to lean on Him, to learn how to do it His way, which in turn is the best way!! And, we can show other people the true meaning of a love walk. (John 13:34-35)
Be Blessed……
Host Of Angels 